
I remember so vividly on the day she was born, holding, her and telling her how sorry I was. I don’t believe that I will ever feel any differently. I don’t know how I could. I suppose I may never forgive myself in a way…always feeling as though I should have known something sooner…done something sooner…
I know that I am human, but I have found it so much easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. I don’t know why that is, it just is. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I do not sit around feeling depressed or anything (anymore), it’s just a small part of me that holds me responsible. After all, I am Faith’s mother. It is my job to keep her safe and I failed. It’s as simple as that.
Day by day I will probably forgive myself a little more than the day before…however, knowing this, still will never change the fact that my baby girl, Faith Melody is not here with me…