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A Faith-Shaped Hole in My Heart
Faith-Shaped Hole This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my Disclosure for more information. I will always have a Faith-Shaped hole in my heart. For those of you who have lost a child(ren), you know what I mean. For those of you who haven’t, please allow me to explain. Earlier this evening, my husband, our daughter Joy, and I were hanging out in the bedroom watching a Christmas movie. We talked about Faith and how she would be laying right next to Joy in the bed with us if she were here. It was a very difficult moment for both of us. I know we will always have a…
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Missing Faith
As we draw near to Joy’s first birthday, I have been thinking about and missing Faith. I cannot help but miss her and think of what she may be like today. She would be 2 years and 3 months old now. I know she is a wonderful big sister and she would be a great one here if she were here. We moved in June to IL to be close to my family with a lot of cousins that are around Joy’s age so she can grow up around family. It is also a much more relaxed way of life than living so close to the big city. We both…
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Capture Your Grief – Day 4 – Dark + Light
Today’s Capture Your Grief topic is Dark + Light. This topic makes perfect sense to me. I have gone through so many emotions and feelings in the time since Faith died. Of course, during the immediate time after she passed, my life seemed only Dark. I did not want to continue living. Looking back, I suppose this is a natural initial response. After some time, I began to see the Light that has come from Faith’s brief life with us. Although, I certainly would prefer for her to be here with us, I have learned so much from her being in Heaven. I see life as so much more precious…
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Capture Your Grief 2015 – Day 1 – Sunrise
As I begin my Capture Your Grief journey for this year, I am reflecting on life. But not just any life, the life of our daughter, Faith. While her life was brief, it has had one of the most profound impacts on my life. So many people have had a great impact on me and have contributed to the person I am today. Faith is one of those people, perhaps one of the most important… I did not see the sun coming up this morning, but could see the effects at approx. 7:17 AM in FL/USA. I took these pictures in our backyard as the sun was coming up. …
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Missing Faith
We are still on our trip. I don’t know too much to say today except that I miss Faith very much. I miss her more at certain times than at others. I guess that’s “normal”. Every time I see a baby (or young girl), when I pass a shop with baby items, when I see others playing with their child/children…I miss Faith. I do have a relationship with her, although it’s not the “traditional” mother-daughter relationship. I talk to her frequently. She’s constantly on my mind & always in my heart. I know I have grown (& grown up) so much over the past year: physically, mentally, & spiritually. Not…
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Capture Your Grief – Day 14 – Dark/Light
Dark/Light is today’s Capture Your Grief prompt; focusing on the dark and light of grief. So, I will discuss a little bit of both the dark and light sides of my grief. In the first days after we lost Faith, I experienced some of the darkest days I have ever known. I honestly didn’t care about being alive. No, let me correct myself, I did not want to live. I would have given anything to have Faith live. I still would. I cannot change what happened. So, in the midst of my darkness, I must focus on the light of the fact that she is in Heaven now and move forward…
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Capture Your Grief – Day 4 – Now
Today’s Capture Your Grief prompt is Now. When I think about how to describe myself now, I don’t really know where to start… I think I am much more of a realist than I used to be, but I don’t think that is a bad thing. I look at life through a totally different lense, that is for sure. I have a new love and respect for my husband than I ever had before. It is very strange for me and I almost don’t know how to describe the way I feel, but Faith has brought me a new, better, and stronger love for my husband. Our bond is stronger than ever…
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Another Day on My Journey
Today overall has been a good day. I have opened some moving boxes in my office (Faith’s room) and have started putting things away. Thank goodness it seems that my Cricut and sewing machine are found and functional. I have been thinking of how I want to decorate my office and I think I may put up Faith and girly stuff to remind me of her. I came across some beautiful bright sparkly butterflies last night and I may put them on a wall with Faith’s name in vinyl letters…just a passing thought. Although I miss Faith SO VERY much and think about her all the time, I am slowly…
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Life is SO Precious
This is a video of Faith’s heartbeat 5 days before she was born and left us. I am so glad that we recorded this as well as two audio recordings of her heartbeat. It is so beautiful to watch and listen to her when she was living on this earth with us. Faith Melody Bryant’s life on this earth, though short, is, and will always be, one of the most precious things to me. It still hurts so bad that she is not with us. I miss her so very much. Please enjoy this small glimpse of her life, as we were able to enjoy it. Remember that every…
